Recently I was asked how to keep a workplace romance a secret. Well, not only am I a Dating coach but I’ve got over 20 years of Human Resources Experience. I’ve seen the happy endings of marriages and the not so happy endings of workplace gossip.

Okay, you know you shouldn’t BUT you have a romance starting to simmer in the workplace. She works in another department; he works in another building and you’ve both got the hots for each other that the employee handbook isn’t cooling you down.

Of course there’s no direct reporting relationship (After 20 years of human resources I know this is playing Russian roulette with your Career). Still, until you’re officially a couple; you want to get the relationship secret and out of the rumor mill. Here are 3 quick tips to keep your workplace romance quiet until you want to the world know.

1.  Keep your romance 100% outside work hours. That means you don’t even try to sneak in a quick lunch, hug in the stairwell, little cute emails, or quick breaks together. People will notice. So when you’re at work just focus on work.
2. Don’t show any affection on the job – physical contact, secret pats on the butt (yes, I’ve seen it done), straightening his tie, tugging the bottom of her sweater or secret smiles. People are very observant and crack a romantic relationship faster than figuring out their new smart phones.
3. Don’t tell anyone at work or anyone who knows anyone at work. I don’t care if your best work friend swears on her child’s head to keep it a confidence. They won’t. Perhaps they won’t say it out loud, but they’ll hint, give a special smile, nod or tell their very, very special best friend. One way or another – it’ gets mentioned subtly or overtly. This is the most common way workplace romances are found out.

 Follow these quick tips until you’re ready to let the world know about your new romance. When look firmly established, then you can show more in the workplace. And when you do want it to be known, the quickest method is to tell 2-3 of your closest work friends. It’s faster and more effective than the company newsletter or email no matter how many states are involved.

Joann Cohen,

Phoenix Dating Coach