Many women are constantly reminding themselves of faults they think they have (which often – no one notices or believes is a big issue). A lot of time is wasted  thinking about the few things they don’t like about themselves instead of the much bigger list – what are their unique and fantastic  positive points.. I encourage clients to always replace negative thoughts with positive true statements about themselves. This takes practice, as often we have lots of ANTS in our brains. ANTs are what David Amen describes as automatic negative thoughts .  Without any effort or action, these thoughts automatically surface to tell us something negative.. Negative thoughts don’t do anything to make your life better so why indulge them? Kill the ANTS. ANTS take away fun from your picnic and fun in your life. One of my clients has a simple rule -”If I wouldn’t want anyone else to say it to me, then I don’t say to me.”    
 
Take a vacation from fashion magazines, TV, or any other images that steals your confidence. Research has shown that often women’s self confidence is reduced after reading a fashion magazine. Are you paying for something that makes you feel worse?
 
“Act as if”. Pretend that you are a person that has confidence or act like someone that you know who has confidence. You can be Sharon Stone, Halle Berry or your best friend who always enters a room like she owns it.
 
Finally, you will look and feel more confident, by standing up straight, shoulders back, head up, looking people in the eye and giving genuine smiles. Smiling is a great way to feel good about yourself and releases endorphins, which are the natural stuff that makes you feel good. 
 
Try this for one week and I guarantee your confidence will improve.

Joann Cohen,

Phoenix Dating Coach