Okay on first dates some things are obvious and some aren’t. Here’s the Top Ten First Date Tips for men from single women, clients, dating coaches and my own experience. Guys – see how you compare with the top ten for a successful date.
1. First things first. When you call her for the date – have a plan. Have a couple of ideas on when and where to meet. From meeting for a drink after work, dinner or coffee, have a few exact locations to meet. This indicates to the woman that you take the date (and her) seriously and you’re a confident man. Because confident men take the lead and don’t make the women choose.
2. Pick a time and be on time. Disaster or horrible traffic and you’re running late? Give her a call as soon as you know so she knows she hasn’t been stood up.
3. Dress to make a Great Impression.  Yes- it’s just as important as the lady dressing up for you. Your first date can be a casual Sunday brunch or hike but that doesn’t mean your clothes are dirty, wrinkled and have holes. If it’s not a casual date, strut your stuff. Wear the clothes that show you at your best. One of my former clients (now in a committed relationship) has the most beautiful blue eyes. When he wears a blue shirt it’s electrifying!  Make her want to say “Wow!” when she first sees you.
4. Check the breath. A common mistake is to have that spicy lunch or be taking some supplement that can make the breath smell a bit …strong? You don’t want her to step away as you step in for a welcoming hug or good night kiss.
5. Remember your manners. This is the extra that can make a good first impression, a great one. Open every door from the car door to the front door for her; pull her chair out for her, and of course, she orders a drink or food before you.
6. Be the Confident Man. One of the most important things you can to attract a woman on that first date is to show confidence. It starts with body language – stand straight, head up, maintain eye contact and don’t be afraid to take up space. Speak in a well paced manner – not too fast, big silences where you search for words, or finishing your sentences with a continual questioning tone at the end. And what do you say?
7. Balance your compliments. Women like sincere compliments which are telling her something specific- what she’s wearing, her eyes or smile, her sense of humor, taste in her choices,  or character – whatever compliment you make needs to be what you honestly feel. And the best compliments are balanced and not overdone or excessive.
8. Have fun conversation starters ready. These can be something from her internet profile, things you have talked on the phone, and interesting stories. Having a few prepared before you go on that first date can help with the first date jitters. One example of a favorite topic is travel and you both discuss your favorite places you’ve been or would like to go.
9. Follow the basics of a good conversation. This is a balance of talking and listening. It’s a friendly game where the conversation ball is thrown back and forth between partners. She asks questions and you answer and follow up with a good question.  Extra Bonus tip for a great second date she’ll love. Listen to her interests and favorite activities. She loves hiking a favorite trail, wants to attend a weekend event, or likes specific food? Listen for these cues and you know what to do on a second date that you know she’ll enjoy.
10. Leave her wanting more. Keep your first date short from 1-2 hours depending on the activity – coffee, drink or dinner. The best first date is when you both can’t wait to learn see each other again. Prolong this excitement, by ending the date and then plan the next date!

Next time – it will be the ladies’ turn. Men – have you got suggestions on the top things women can do to make a great first date? I know my female readers want to know! So email your dating tips for women to me at joann@joanncohen.com and you may see them in the next news.

Joann Cohen,

Phoenix Dating Coach