Phoenix Dating Coach, Joann Cohen, as seen on TLC's 650 lb Virgin

Why Men Like Smart Women

Joann Cohen — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 19:59:00 +0000

Men like smart women.

I’ll say it again, because this has been a long time coming.

Men like smart women… most importantly, smart men really like smart women.

Since 1939, the University of Iowa have been asking college students about their dating preferences. Every decade a group of researchers asks both men and women to rank a list of 18 characteristics, according to how important they are in dating. Sociability, a good cook, mutual attraction and love, dependable character, even chastity were placed in order of importance.

In 1939, intelligence ranked 11th on the list, but in 2008, college students ranked it fourth, behind mutual attraction and love, dependable character, and emotional stability.

“This is a generation of men who have grown up with educated women as their mothers, teachers, doctors, and role models,” says Christine Whelan, the author of “Marry Smart: The Intelligent Woman’s Guide To True Love.”

For years, the dating advice for female brainiacs has been to dumb yourself down. Popular thinking and trends showed men wanted sparkling arm candy and not a mature, intelligent lover.

It is important to note that this study was with on college students, who have chosen to pursue a higher education. Education is important to them and it makes sense that they would choose a mate that reflects this.

“Like attracts like, so certainly the fact that we were polling college students would suggest that intelligence and education are going to be important characteristics,” Whelan says.

For the intelligent women reading this, my advice is to seek out men that are like you. Avoid the dirty dive bars and head to book clubs, museums, or maybe business meet-ups to find those, who share your interests. AND…. contact me.

My clients are attractive, successful and SMART men who are looking for smart women. So if you are looking to meet smart men who appreciate smart women – click here.

The Online Disappearing Act

Joann Cohen — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 23:19:12 +0000

Have you experienced the common disappearing act people pull while online dating?

If you are like most of my clients, you were contacted by someone online, exchanged a few interesting emails, and asked for his or her phone number. Things were going well, so you were hopeful as you watched your inbox for a week.

As one week turns to two though, you couldn’t figure out what went wrong.

“Where did he vanish too?”

“Did I say something wrong?”

Maybe you did say something to kill the attraction or maybe it was one of the five other common reasons people disappear online after emailing.

1. She Wanted an Email Pen Pal

No matter how charming you are, some only want to exchange emails. Maybe they aren’t really ready to date anyone, maybe their confidence is low, or maybe they just like having an inbox full of potential dates.

Emailing is easy, yet dating is challenging. Some aren’t ready for this challenge.

2. He Wants Bigger and Better

No matter how attractive, smart and charming you are, some always want a bigger and better version. Maybe someone new just emailed them or a person showed up in their daily matches.

These people think they are searching for love, when they are really searching for excitement. The other person isn’t “better” but new. So they’ll not only drop you without a word and usually never end up going out with anyone.

3. She Noticed a Deal-Breaker

No matter how amazing you are, you aren’t perfect for everyone. Maybe they rechecked your profile and noticed you love dogs, yet he loves cats. Maybe you love meatballs and she only eats leafy greens.

We each have deal-breakers and if you break the deal being yourself, then you’ve saved both of you some time.

4. Overload

You have probably experienced it. There are so many emails, so many people, so many first meetings, too many disappointments of women not being like their profiles (just as women have some unhappy first meeting surprises) – so many that equals too much. One disappointment too many and he feels that it just isn’t worth continuing – at least for now. So feeling overwhelmed, and disappointed he takes a break from online dating.

5. He Found Someone

It’s a matter of timing. A lot of my clients do really find what they are looking for online. One day it could happen to you too.

Of course, there are other reasons people vanish online, but when you spend your energy pondering those who have vanished, you miss out on the people who haven’t.

Maybe with the next email you send, you will meet someone you are truly compatible with.

If you aren’t sure how to start online dating, disappointed or overwhelmed, contact me to discuss how working with me can help you save time and meet someone faster.

Men – “Dressing” for Your Age

Joann Cohen — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:55:42 +0000

Guest Blogger: Brian Swan, Right Hand Man Image Consulting

Your style should evolve with you as you continue to mature. Changes in your career, lifestyle, mindset, body and age are all things that can cause your style to change. As you grow, so should you wardrobe in essence. Here is a quick guide to having you look stylish at any age.

Twenties: At this stage in your life you are starting to really figure out who you are. So trying out the same items you had in years past may work but get boring. It’s time to add some flare to it by getting bolder colors and form fitting items. This doesn’t mean you need to wear pieces that are too tight and revealing. Keep in mind you are still on a career search so you must be mindful of the image you are portraying. Gents, for a nice casual/relaxed look, put on a nice cardigan with a V-neck shirt underneath with jeans. Add on a nice watch and sunglasses. For nights out, put on a blazer with either a cool graphic tee on underneath or a long sleeve button up shirt. Jeans work great here. Don’t feel like you have to put on a pair of hard dress shoes. There are many sneakers out that are dressy enough to keep you comfortable yet sophisticated.

Thirties: Much of what you learned in your twenties will flow through to your thirties. Staying trendy is okay here but be mindful of your body. If you are a little more heavier than before this doesn’t mean buy clothing that is baggy on you. It still needs to be fitted for your body. You don’t need to over accentuate your curves but still compliment them. If you happen to be a little heavier, stray away from horizontal lines in pieces. Monochromatic colors will work well for you if you feel heavier in some areas. They are colors like black, grey, chrome, brown etc. However, if you use those colors more often in your wardrobe, add in splashes of color with accessories and items.

Forties: At this stage you may feel you’re fashionably out of touch. Maybe you have been busy with raising your family or career. Maybe your body is not where you want it. How do you get back to being stylish? You don’t have to because you never left! You just need to become acquainted with the updated styles of things you may already have and make them work for your current lifestyle. Again, it is key here to buy items that fit your body. Nothing to baggy or too tight. Forget the saying of “middle aged”. It is all a mindset truly. You don’t need to be super trendy like wearing wallet chains or anything. Rather, gent’s pull out a bow tie and piece it with your wardrobe. It can be used both casually or dressy.

Fifties: At this point, you should know your body and have settled into it. This doesn’t mean it’s time to start wearing wall paper inspired fabrics either. Grab those loose yet still fitted pieces that have a nice feel to them. Choose good fabrics that make you feel great when it’s on.

Fellas, no need to wear those skin tight shirts. Put on a nice crew neck t-shirt or V-neck shirt that allows you to breath. A nice paper boy hat or fedora is a great piece to add in as well. Continue to dress for the occasion but in-line with your maturity. Remember, you can still be trendy, just keep in mind where you are in your life and adjust the trend to it.

Want more? Meet Brian Swan and the Right Hand Man team at my Pre-Valentine Party on Thurs, Feb. 9^th. You’ll receive a complimentary 5 minute assessment. Can’t make it? Contact Brian at 602.421.5738 bswan@rhmstyle.com

Women – “Dressing” for Your Age

Joann Cohen — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:46:08 +0000

Guest Blogger: Brian Swan, Right Hand Man Image Consulting

Ladies, for a relaxed look, go for something simple yet sexy. A white tank top, jean shorts, nude pumps and a red bag is perfect! Also add on accessories like a necklace, earrings and/or bracelet’s. For evening wear, look for pieces that silhouette your body well. Try an off the shoulder dress, strapless one or even a nice blouse and skirt. This is also a great time in your life to try out those heels you have been dying for.

Thirties: Much of what you learned in your twenties will flow through to your thirties. Staying trendy is okay here but be mindful of your body. If you have had some life events like children, your body may be slightly different. If you are a little heavier than before this doesn’t mean buy clothing that is baggy on you. It still needs to be fitted for your body. You don’t need to over accentuate your curves but still compliment them. If you happen to be a little heavier, stray away from horizontal lines in pieces. Monochromatic colors will work well for you if you feel heavier in some areas. They are colors like black, grey, chrome, brown etc. However, if you use those colors more often in your wardrobe, add in splashes of color with accessories and items.

Forties: At this stage you may feel you’re fashionably out of touch. Maybe you have been busy with raising your family or career. Maybe your body is not where you want it. How do you get back to being stylish? You don’t have to because you never left! You just need to become acquainted with the updated styles of things you may already have and make them work for your current lifestyle. Again, it is key here to buy items that fit your body. Nothing too baggy or too tight. Forget the saying of “middle aged”. It is all a mindset truly. You don’t need to be super trendy like wearing wallet chains or anything. Ladies, grab those skinny jeans and sheer vest or blouse. Maybe even go for the pin up look by grabbing a hair wrap and putting your hair up! Don’t lose your personality in your life. Bring it out in what you wear!!

Fifties: At this point, you should know your body and have settled into it. This doesn’t mean it’s time to start wearing wall paper inspired fabrics either. Ladies it can get confusing on what is considered sexy here. Cleavage is one of those areas that has a fine line. Try wearing great body forms like under boat-neck tops, button-down shirts with the second button undone instead of the third, or lower scoop necks to expose the collarbone and look more sexy. Show off that sexy neckline! Grab those loose yet still fitted pieces that have a nice feel to them. Choose good fabrics that make you feel great when it’s on.

Meet Brian Swan and the Right Hand Man team at my Pre-Valentine Party on Thurs, Feb. 9^th. You’ll receive a complimentary 5 minute assessment. Can’t make it? Contact Brian at 602.421.5738 bswan@rhmstyle.com/

How to Save Money on Dates

Joann Cohen — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:17:42 +0000

Ok, I’ll state the obvious.

Dating can be expensive. Especially for you men – as you usually pay.

Yes, women’s income has increased over the years, we’re liberated and know what we want but when the check comes – it’s usually the man who is paying the bill.

Rant, yell how unfair it is and it’s still the reality for most of you.

And you can’t save a few bucks by using a coupon. While this is changing in our current economy – whipping out your groupon coupon during a first date doesn’t usually make a great impression on your lovely lady. Again, unfair – guys have to pay and then get slammed when they try to save money on dates? Yikes!

I get it.

So when I heard about a new deal to discretely save money on restaurants – I was thinking of you. Because I want you dating and meeting Miss Right –Right now.

Restauranteers is a classy way to save on dates at high-end restaurants. Unlike Groupon and clones, Restauranteers doesn’t use coupons. Just make your reservation and the discount (20-30%) is automatically and discretely applied to your entire bill. You don’t need to use a card, coupon, or say a magic word. Just make your reservation on restauranteers.com and be Mr. Suave on your date.

And these aren’t Old Country Buffet restaurants. They’ve got many upscale places that normally don’t discount anywhere. Restaurants like – Wrigley Mansion’s Gordies, Arrivederci Ristorante, Christopher’s and more. Restauranteers is in Phoenix, Seattle, San Diego and Sacramento and their list is growing.

Restauranteers is $60 BUT offering my readers a free 1 year membership. So get your free membership and start saving now. The only catch is you need to sign up for it by November 30, 2011 to get the free 1 year membership. Who loves you? Hint….you’re suppose to say – me

To start your free subscription, visit the link and register with the promo code: PHXMEETUP.

And to sweeten the deal –there’s a free contest. Anyone who signs up will also be entered to win a $150 gift card at a restaurant of their choice.

And of course, you don’t have to have a date but go out with friends, family or impress the boss while saving up to 30% on your entire bill. My mom and friends have already signed up.

And of course the best way to save right now is to sign up for my 2 for 1 Special for Finding the Right One Now.

How to Flirt on Facebook – Part 2

Joann Cohen — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:32:30 +0000

The last blog was the first step on how to flirt on Facebook. Now let’s discuss the rest of the steps to meet great singles on Facebook.

Start to be active on Facebook
Start posting every few days something that is positive, inspirational, or fun in your life. Here are some ideas:
• Post a quote you like.
• Did you have a great workout in the morning? Great – post an status update about that.
• Post a great article or a funny video that shows your sense of humor. You want someone who has a similar type of humor. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t think you’re funny.
• About once a day comment or “Like” the posts of your friends or of someone that you would like to date.

BUT – Don’t be a Facebook Stalker by liking and commenting about everything the person you interested in posts. Do enough to get his or her attention, but not so much that you look like you are watching everything that they post.

Find attractive people without looking like a creeper.
You can find people using the “People You May Know” tool, by checking out your friend’s friends, or by noticing someone who comments or is in a friend’s photographs. The key is that you need to have a reason to message them. A simple way is telling them that made you want to get to know them because you share a common interest, have a funny photo, been to an event you’ve been to or have multiple friends in common.

Send them a message and don’t send them a “Friend Request”
You don’t want to request to be friends with anyone that you haven’t met in person or have exchanged a lot of messages with. Keep the message short, simple, and throw in a little humor, if you can. Stick to safe topics, like music, pets, sports, pop culture, or interests you share. This will just come off as weird or creepy.

Build comfort by messaging back and forth, but get their phone number sooner, rather than later.
After you’ve done mutual likes, emails, comments, then it’s time to take it off Facebook. Find an event, concert, or something you’re both planning to be at or ask if she or he is going to meet up. If nothing is coming up, then do the direct approach that you’d like to talk on the phone. Keep it short and throw in a little humor at the end. If they send you their phone number, this is a huge sign that they are interested in you.
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Keep your Facebook profile, interesting, positive, and intriguing, and you present yourself as a person that others would like to hang out with. If you complement that by sending short, witty, and genuine messages, then you have a good chance of scoring a date.

Have fun and let me know how it goes for you or what Facebook Flirting tips work for you.

How to Flirt on Facebook

Joann Cohen — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 21:27:38 +0000

If you are navigating the “single” world, using Facebook is a great way to find to finding interesting matches and have great dates. However, you need to know what you are doing, because there is also the chance that you could get labeled as the male or female “Facebook Player”.

This blog is the first step to Flirting on Facebook. Look for future blogs to get the other steps to meet great singles.

Step 1 – Revamp your profile, so it is exciting, positive, and interesting.

Like it or not, anyone that sees your Facebook profile will be making a judgment about you as a person, so you want to make it a positive impression. Follow these easy Facebook housekeeping rules:

Clear off anything on your profile that is negative. To flirt on Facebook – Delete those photos of you and your ex smooching; photos of you drunk; grabbing anyone’s (or your own) intimate body part and anything else that only your friends think is funny.
If you don’t have any or few friends, then get some! Get involved in the social media world to show that you’ve got something going on in your life.
Keep the photographs of you doing fun, social, or exciting things, like your last trip to Mexico or that last race you ran.
Delete any negative or whining comments you wrote on your wall. You may have had a bad day but your viewer will probably judge you as just a negative person.
Review your “Personal Information” and make sure that your information is unique, interesting and even a bit mysterious. Leave out your relationship status and mark that you want to meet men and women.
Talk about what you passions in life are, what you dream of accomplishing, interesting quotes you like and steer away from talking about the boring, mundane details of your life.

Got it? Find out the other steps on how to Flirt on Facebook in the next blogs.

Why He Didn’t call After the Date

Joann Cohen — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 00:20:27 +0000

Even as you read this, there are thousands of women out there on a first date, and they will be thinking one of two ways. They will either be praying that they never have to see this oaf again, or they will be crossing their fingers in the hope that this will lead to a second date, and a third, and so on. So, what about when that date goes great, and yet you never hear from him? He may even have told you that he felt the date was going great as well, but that phone call never materialized.

The most common advice you will hear is to just “move on.” However, that can be a little difficult at first. Your mind is spinning on what you mind have “done wrong”, “what’s wrong with me” and your feelings are a bit (or a lot) hurt. So let’s take a look at some of the reasons your phone may not have rang.

He is not available: Sadly, this occurs all too often. Your date may really have gone great, and there could be a real connection. However, if he is already seeing someone, then that won’t matter much. Attached guys often like to test the waters and see what else is out there, yet they have no intention of ever seeing you again.
No connection or chemistry: The date may have gone wonderfully, with laughing, giggling, great conversation and a real connected feeling. Unfortunately, if he doesn’t feel a sexual connection with you, he won’t be calling you back. Let’s face it; you can have a similar time with your friends, but that doesn’t mean you would want to date them, right?
He is a wuss: Well, to put it bluntly, if your date really did go at good as you think, you would have heard from him again. Many men have no backbone and will pretend things are going great, even if they aren’t. They will act as though you are the greatest thing since sliced bread, even though they have no intention of calling you. They would rather just not call than look like a jerk on the date.

There are many other reasons why he may not have called back, but these are easily the most common. Regardless of the reason, whether it’s good or bad, stressing over it won’t help, and in doing so, you may miss out on another guy who may really be “the one.”

And in a way – he did you a favor. Because you don’t want to waste time going on dates with someone who isn’t into you. You want to be with those who feel a real connection with you and can’t wait to see you again.

If you aren’t quite sure how well you are doing on your first dates or why you’re a great catch and still single, contact me and get the answer to finding love that lasts forever.

The Top 5 Mistakes Men Make on a First Date

Joann Cohen — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 23:47:19 +0000

As a guy, have you ever wondered why you never got a call back after your first date? Have you tried to figure out what you might have done wrong? Sadly, the woman isn’t going to tell you, which is why I am here to offer some great dating advice for men.

Remember many women have numerous options and like you, they don’t want to settle. And that first date is a lot more involved for a woman. She will spend days thinking ow what to wear, and then spend more time to get her hair and makeup just right. Because of that, she is not in a rush to do that again for someone who didn’t knock her socks off on the first date.

It is a fact; everyone makes a judgment from their first impression. The following dating advice for men is intended to make sure your first date is memorable and you get a second date. Avoid the following at all costs!

Excessive talking, without listening: Many guys think they can build themselves up by talking of their exploits for the entire night. Women are not dumb though, and they see this as a way for insecure men to overcompensate for things they are lacking. Plus, chances are that when you are mainly talking about yourself – you are boring! And no, asking her “Enough about me. What do you think of me?” won’t do it. Try to listen more and talk less.
Forgetting chivalry and manners: Not only is chivalry not dead, but it will get you some serious brownie points. Don’t forget to do the little things like opening the door for her, allowing her to enter first, pulling out her chair, etc. This also applies to table manners. We all know what it takes to be a gentleman, and now is the time to put that knowledge to good use.
Not looking your best: It doesn’t take long to properly groom yourself, so why do some men show up for first dates looking like hobos? Shave, make your hair look nice, cut your fingernails, iron your clothes, and most importantly, come with breath mints.
Not being prepared: By prepared I mean a plan. The woman expects the man to be in charge of the date (You asked her out), and therefore, it is your responsibility to make all the arrangements. Know what you want to do, where you want to go and make sure you have your reservations in place and also make sure you know how to get to where to you are going. Getting lost on a first date is not a good start.
Discussing controversial topics: You are guaranteed to not have a second date if you start talking about an ex-girlfriend. Keep the conversation limited to common topics, like hobbies, goals, interests, sports, movies, or any other positive topics.

Lastly, and this is great dating advice for men, tell her that you had a good time and that you’ll be calling her before the night has ended. She will love the fact that you are showing an interest in her (assuming she is interested in you). The added benefit is if she isn’t interested in you, then you can usually figure that out by her response, rather than sitting by the phone for a call that will never come.

If you’re not sure if you’re “Date Ready”, problems getting past a second date or tired of dating- contact me. Take the smart action to stop serial dating and find the drama free relationship you really want.

Women’s Biggest Mistakes on First Dates

Joann Cohen — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 21:56:22 +0000

So, you thought the date went great? You seemed to have a real connection, or so you thought, but he never called you again, what gives? There could be many reasons why he didn’t call, but most likely, you did something that he didn’t like or appreciate. So, what might it have been? As a Relationship Consultant, I constantly hear from men their biggest complaints about what women do wrong on first dates. Here are a few things that women should avoid on a first date, especially if they hope to get a second date.

Don’t be late: Over 50% of women admit that they have showed up late for a first date. Some women actually believe that being tardy is fashionable and a typical way for a woman to behave. The truth is that showing up late is a clear message to the guy that he wasn’t worth it to be on time.

Don’t talk or text on your cell: Unless your grandmother has fallen down the stairs and needs immediate medical attention, do not take a personal call during your date. The same applies to texting, as taking out your phone and typing away during your date is akin to reaching over and slapping him in the face.

Don’t be rude: In general, men do appreciate a challenge, but they still don’t want a girl who is mean. Don’t be snotty with the waiter or rude with the bartender. Don’t engage in petty activities like mocking the outfit, appearance or behavior of another patron in the establishment. Stay above it all and maintain your self-respect.

Don’t mention future contact too soon: This is one of the tougher rules to follow. You could be discussing a book or a new restaurant in town, and casually mention that you should go to the restaurant together sometime or that you could loan him your copy of a certain book. The problem with that is that you are forcing him to make a snap decision on whether he may want to see you again before he even knows you. Leave the talk of a second meeting until later.

Don’t appear emotionally unstable: This one is fairly easy to follow, or at least it should be. He is your date, not your therapist. He doesn’t want to hear about the stressed relationship you have with your sister, or the fight you are having with a co-worker. If there are issues that you absolutely must vent about, then by all means seek out a therapist, but do so before you think about any serious dating.

Don’t be too quiet, or too overbearing: There is a happy medium here, and it is easy to find if you just involve yourself in the flow of the conversation. If he asks you questions about yourself, don’t give simple one word answers. Guys are not interested in someone who is overly timid. Conversely, don’t answer every question with a 10 minute speech about your childhood.

None of these are all that hard to follow, and most likely how you want the man to treat you too. So sticking to these rules will do a lot to get that second date!