As a Phoenix Matchmaker I meet many women who have had a habit of dating Narcissistic men,It is a dangerous habit that prevents them from having the loving and healthy relationship they really want.
Self-absorption is possibly one of the least attractive traits a person can have, but it’s unfortunately a trait that can be easily masked. Narcissism takes the problem of self-absorption a step further: narcissists unrealistically overestimate their own importance and underestimate or completely ignore the worth of others. Completely preoccupied with themselves, narcissists are very vain and entitled, highly manipulative to the point of being cruel, and lack any real empathy. Because around 75% of narcissists are men, becoming addicted to dating a narcissist is primarily a problem for women. Why do women keep dating narcissistic men?
• He’s exciting and fun to be around.
Narcissists are often outgoing and fun with a dynamic personality. They are typically the life of the party. Because of these tendencies, narcissists are especially good at the start of a relationship when sparks are flying and passions are high.
• He’s very charismatic.
Narcissists have an insatiable need for affirmation, and go out of their way to make themselves seem desirable and attractive. They are very talented at making a good first impression. Often, narcissists have an outstanding trait that makes them exceptionally appealing: their physical appearance, intelligence, confidence, or other outstanding life achievements.
• He gives her what she wants… At the beginning.
Narcissists pursue relationships only for the purpose of meeting their own needs. To accomplish that goal, they will do whatever is necessary to be who their desired partner needs them to be. This manipulation effectively hides their true character at first, and often makes a woman feel loved and safe.
It’s easy to see why narcissistic men, on the surface, are ideal candidates for a relationship. But dating narcissistic men can easily become a dangerous addiction.
The negative traits of narcissism cause these men to ignore and dismiss the ingredients of a healthy relationship. Because of this, dating a narcissist rarely turns into a lasting committed relationship. Women become addicted to the “high” of the initial stages of dating a narcissist, and when one relationship has run its course, they move on to find the next narcissistic man so they can “get their fix.” This pattern not only keeps these women from finding an emotionally healthy man, but begins to erode their own emotional health.
After the “honeymoon” stage of a relationship, the true nature of a narcissist begins to come out when he starts to manipulate, control, and use his girlfriend to meet his own needs. Usually, by the time the “real him” starts to come out, the relationship has progressed to a point that makes women feel trapped. Narcissists cannot cope with rejection, and will do whatever they deem necessary to maintain control in a relationship. The relationship quickly becomes toxic, causing women caught in the relationship to experience emotional damage.
• They lose confidence in themselves.
Women who have had a narcissistic partner have a hard time reestablishing trust with themselves, and with others. They kick themselves for not being able to see their partner’s faults before the truth came out, and they are very wary of trusting others.
• They begin to believe the criticisms of their partner.
The ongoing attacks of the narcissist wear down a woman’s estimation of her own value, and she can actually begin to believe the lies she is told. The manipulation and guilt trips she endures warps her sense of what a healthy relationship should look like.
No woman deserves to be treated poorly by anyone, including a narcissistic man. If you find yourself stuck in a pattern dating narcissistic men, it’s time to stand up for yourself and break the pattern. Dating narcissistic men is ultimately holding you back from finding a healthy, fulfilling relationship with an emotionally stable man. Look yourself in the mirror and choose today that you will stop being the victim and be your own heroine. Seeking counseling will help you learn how to stop choosing narcissistic relationships so you can start choosing healthy relationships.
As the Phoenix Matchmaker, my male clients are successful, attractive, emotionally healthy and looking for forever relationships. If that describes you, find out more about my matchmaking for women by clicking here.