Are You Dating or Hanging Out?
I was interviewed by “The List” for dating advice to help singles figure out if they are dating or hanging out. Think this just happens to the 20 somethings? Wrong. This is happening more and more to single women of all ages. It can be confusing with some to know if you are dating or just friends.
Click here to view the Dating Advice on The List and read more to find out if you are dating or hanging out and what to do to make your desires known.
There’s nothing worse than being out on what you think is a date, only to find out the other person thinks you’re just two friends hanging out. It can be a crushing blow, but it’s something you have the power to avoid. Keep a look out for these 7 signs you’re “hanging out,” not dating (Note: While these are written as tips a woman should look for in a man, most of these are signs men can watch out for in women, too.):
- The date was a last-minute invite to tag along to an event.
- He doesn’t offer to pay. Guys looking to impress a girl will at least offer.
- He keeps physical distance. If there is physical contact, it’s in the form of a punch on the arm.
- He talks about another girl he’s interested in, or brings up past sexual encounters with other women.
- He calls you “buddy” or “pal” or some other equivalent indicating he thinks of you as one of the guys.
- There’s no mention of future dates. The only other plan he makes with you is asking if you want to hang out with his friends after dinner.
- He offers to set you up with a friend. If this happens, it’s pretty clear he isn’t interested romantically.
Are you Dating or Hanging Out?
As we know, there are always two sides to every story. Maybe you’re the one thinking you’re just hanging out with a friend, only to discover they have other intentions. If you aren’t on board, it can make the evening awkward! Here are 7 ways you can tell if you’re actually on a date instead of spending time with a friend:
- He seems nervous to ask you out. Even the most confident men are at least a little nervous when asking out a woman they like.
- He uses one of these phrases when asking you out: “have dinner with me,” “I’d like to take you,” or uses the word “date.”
- He planned the entire evening, including flowers and a fancy restaurant. Planning is one of the primary differences between a date and just “hanging out.”
- He asks lots of questions while you’re out, indicating he’s trying to get to know you better.
- He’s a perfect gentleman. While there are plenty of men who simply have good manners no matter who they’re with, out-of-the-ordinary gentlemanly behavior may mean he thinks the two of you are on a date.
- He makes a move. Anything from hand touching to a goodnight kiss qualifies.
- He texts you later. After the date, he texts you saying he had a great time and asks if you got home safe. Or maybe he even texts the next morning to ask if you slept well. Both are signs you were on a date.
It’s likely you’ve been on both sides of the situation at some point. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to say the least! While you won’t always be able to avoid it, here are a few ways you can be proactive and make sure you know for a fact whether you’re on a date or just “hanging out” with a friend:
- Don’t make a date over text. There’s far too much room for misunderstanding and miscommunication. Through text, you miss out on seeing someone’s body language and hearing their voice – two of the biggest components of communication.
- Be clear about your intentions. Before going out, define whether or not you’re going on a date. Make it easy on everybody and state the obvious.
- Talk about the elephant in the room. If you feel like you’re getting mixed signals, ask!
- Give clear clues. If you want it to be a date, make it one. Flirt, touch, and let your body language make it obvious you’re attracted.
- Don’t be afraid to make your desires known. If you want to be more than friends, don’t sell yourself short and torture yourself. What does that look like? Saying “no” when asked to hang out, but letting that person know you would say, “yes” to an actual date.
Figuring out relationships is tough enough as it is. Do your part to keep communication and expectations clear in your relationships, whether you’re “hanging out” or dating. In the end, you’ll both be happier for the clarity.
For more advice for women, click here for more dating advice blogs for women.