As the Scottsdale matchmaker, I am connecting single men and women, helping them find lasting, meaningful relationships. I interview singles before carefully matching them. Most people express their deep desire for a relationship. But before I ever match a person, the first thing I determine is whether or not they are ready for a relationship. Some people think they’re ready when they’re not. Others wonder if they have what it takes when I have no doubt they’ll make an excellent romantic partner for the right person. Here are five ways to know if you are ready for a relationship:
Are You Ready for a Relationship?
- You’re happy with you I firmly believe that the most important relationship you have is with yourself. If you can’t be happy with you, you won’t be happy with someone else. Learning to feel loved and worthy of love apart from a romantic relationship makes you an excellent partner! I look for men and women who love themselves, flaws and all. (why men like confident women) This kind of self-confidence isn’t rooted in pride, but instead is rooted in an accurate view of your own value and worth. It’s one of the most attractive qualities you can have!
- You don’t need anyone to complete you. A healthy relationship is two whole people coming together. If you think of a relationship as two halves completing each other, you’ve got the wrong idea! That’s a sure recipe for dysfunction. Too often, relationships become a distraction people use to avoid being alone. When I meet a man or woman who is truly and genuinely OK being single, I know they’re ready for a relationship because that contentment tells me they truly know and love who they are as an individual.
- You’re not carrying baggage. There’s nothing worse than emotional baggage from past relationships that are brought into a new one. Emotional scars from previous relationships or past life experiences will undermine every future relationship you have. It’s tempting to want to look to another person to “save” you from yourself or “heal” you from your wounds. Truthfully, you are the only person capable of resolving those issues in your heart. Emotionally healthy people are ready for a relationship because they have taken the time to deal with their luggage. They keep short accounts and regularly do what they need to in order to care for their inner self.
- You’re relationally flexible. Having a long list of relationship “requirements” is a sure sign to me a person is insecure and wants to control their significant other. I know a woman is ready for a relationship when she throws out her mile-long list, or when a man is willing to let her quirks slide without making a big deal over them. None of us are perfect, and there will always be something about your partner you wish was different. A relationally mature person chooses to love and accept their significant other as they are without having unreasonable expectations.
- You’re willing to make a change and take a risk. As humans, we tend to get stuck in ruts. We do this in our relationships. Some women repeatedly find themselves in unhealthy relationships with the wrong kind of guy. Some men are so used to their freedoms as a bachelor they find it hard to compromise and change for a relationship. When someone makes it clear they’re willing to make changes in their life, I know that individual is ready for a relationship. Change is always risky, which makes it scary, but finding your soul mate requires a willingness to accept both change and risk.
We are all a work in progress and will always have some areas to work on. Ask yourself these questions to find out “are you ready for a relationship?” If youcan say these five statements truthfully, you are ready for a relationship!
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