Wondering why Mr. Right isn’t magically showing up on your doorstep? For starters, he may have no idea where you live (or that you even exist). Secondly, you may be falling prey to one or more of the biggest mistakes women make in finding Mr. Right. I’ve seen and learned a lot as an Arizona matchmaker and dating coach, with one of the top lessons being how quickly women sabotage their chances of finding the perfect guy with any of these faux pas.
The Secret Place Mistake
Many women assume there’s a single, secret place where all the relationship-minded, quality men congregate. Nope, that place doesn’t exist. After college, everyone disperses. So look for guys at a variety of different places. You may not find 10 potential matches at an event, but all you need is one – the right one.
The Pack Mistake
Women tend to travel in packs. Few guys are going to approach the whole gang if they’re interested in just one of the gals. Besides, packs are intimidating. Would you be super-comfortable approaching a pack of guys? Thought not. So break away from the pack. Example – you’re at an art fair with friends. Try leaving your friends to look around and give men an opportunity to meet you. Of better yet, try going to a few places on your own.
The Missing Out Mistake
The modern woman is zooming about from one place to the next, all the while missing guys that may be right in their midst. In the grocery store, picking up coffee, power-walking through the park – they miss the possibilities of seeing great men. All that rushing signals to everyone that you’re not available, and quality men aren’t going to approach someone who is moving with blinders on at the speed of light. So slow down and give the men an opportunity to talk to you.
Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Finding Mr. Right
The Do Nothing Mistake
He’s gorgeous. He’s smiling. And he’s not wearing a wedding band. So what do many women do? Sit there, doing nothing, expecting the guy to approach. Chances of him coming over are highly unlikely unless you signal you’re open to meeting him. Try looking over at him, smiling, looking away and looking back. That’s it. He’s going to “get” that you’re interested and make the next move.
The Routine Mistake
One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. Women fall into a routine all the time, heading to the same online dating site, the same night spots, the same events with friends – the same places they never seem to find the right guy. Break out of your routine and try new things, a surefire way to get new results.
The Fairy Tale Mistake
Remember that joke about Mr. Right not showing up magically on your doorstep? Some women actually believe the Hollywood and fairy tale hype that says your prince will indeed suddenly appear. That doesn’t happen in real life. Even movie stars who play in the Hollywood romantic leagues end up getting divorced and staying single.
The Fear of Pain Mistake
People’s fear of pain outweighs their desire for pleasure. That means many women avoid any romantic scenario that has even an inkling of creating pain, which is pretty much all of them.
What if you show interest in someone and he doesn’t respond? What if you have a bad first date? What he never calls again? What if he ends up running off to Tahiti with your best friend while you’re stuck back in Glendale?
You can make up potentially painful scenarios all you want, as long as you’re happy with the pain holding you back. Tip the scales to the positive side and you may be able to allow the desire for the pleasure of meeting a great guy to outweigh your fear of pain.
Now that you’re aware of the biggest mistakes women make in finding Mr. Right, your goal is to ensure they don’t become your mistakes. Be open, be available, be friendly, be bold – and for goodness sake be willing to get out of your same-old routine. Mr. Right may still not show up magically at your doorstep, but at least you’ll know how to increase your chances of finding him and letting him know you exist.
And remember to discover more about what to do BEFORE you meet men.
Joann Cohen
The Phoenix Matchmaker for Phoenix Singles
Scottsdale Singles and Singles everywhere in the Phoenix Area
