Is it an Emotional Affair? Or can you be having an affair even if you’re not buying new underwear?
Can you spot them in the office? The couple headed off to lunch again, or stopping at each other’s desk to chat about the newest office gossip?
They’re the ones who always save each other seats at happy hours and people kid about him being her “office boyfriend.” Or maybe you recognize yourself in this description. If so, you may be in the middle of an Emotional Affair.
But is it really cheating when all you do is kiss each other on the cheek or share a quick hug goodbye after a good conversation? After all, in this new world of ours men and women can be just friends without threatening their relationships, right? Well…maybe and maybe not.
Fidelity in a relationship can be compromised without actually renting a motel room. Here are some of the warning signs that you may be going over the edge from, friendship into an emotional affair:
- Do you find yourself sharing dreams and emotions with your work friend that you don’t share with your significant other?
- Do you look forward to seeing him every day?
- Do you find yourself communicating extensively with him over the phone, email or social media outlets?
- Are you growing more distant from your significant other?
- Have you experienced a drop in intimacy with your boyfriend and possibly even a drop in sexual activity and affection?
- Do you find yourself not admitting to your significant other the amount of time you spend with this other person?
- Would you rather spend time with him than your boyfriend?
- Do you engage in flirty behaviors with him?
- Is there sexual tension between you?
- Have other people noticed how the two of you are together and remarked about it?
- Do you enjoy that?
Ok ok, don’t panic. It’s not time for the big confession. If you recognize yourself in one or more of these descriptions, it may be time to stop drifting in the fun of getting all that emotional affair attention and decide what you really want. If the answer is your significant other, it’s time to turn all that charm in another direction – toward him.
Miss that flirty romantic relationship you used to have?
Well, what’s stopping you from bringing that back? Invite your boyfriend on a real date. Write him interesting – or very interesting – emails that he will receive at work. Spend an evening or two talking about current events, his hobby or yours, or your plans for the future. Avoid talking about problems with the house, your or his work, the car, or whatever passes for conversation at home and start sharing the important stuff. Chances are you will rediscover the reasons why you fell in love with him in the first place. At least give him an opportunity to step up before you really put your relationship at risk.
And by the way – this may be the time to buy that new underwear after all.
Find out More about the signs of an Emotional Affair. Joann Cohen Scottsdale Matchmaker’s Interview about Emotional Cheating with Fox 10 news, click here