Most of us are constantly reminding yourselves of faults we think we have. Usually – no one else notices or believes it is a big issue. But we waste a lot of time focusing on them. Instead of embracing bigger list of our fantastic points qualities. There are five steps for instant confidence to feel better and attract the man you really want to meet.
As a Phoenix Dating Coach and Matchmaker, I work with women to gain real and lasting confidence. Real Confidence that enables you to make healthy choices. Not settle for toxic relationships that just end with you feeling worse.
Your Five Ways for instant Confidence
Write down all the negative things you say to yourself. Every little, silly nasty thing about why you won’t be successful in dating. Too old, too big, too skinny, and so on. Bring out all those scary thoughts that run your life and stop you from doing and being who you really want to be.
Sounds counterproductive, doesn’t it? But these things that spin around in our heads are usually silly and wrong. Without any effort or action, these thoughts automatically surface to tell us something negative. We try to ignore them but they constantly whisper to us. The negative thoughts keep us from living the lives and stop us from taking the action to be with Mr Right.
Next, look at all your faults and decide if they are really true. For example, Are you really too old to find someone? Really? No woman, every your age finds a great life partner? Look around and you can find many stories of older women who find love partners.
For Example- my grandmother married five times. She was short, obese and not going to stop traffic with her looks. But without driving, no internet, no matchmaker, married FIVE times. She buried the first four and at 80 married her last husband (who was 15 years younger). And no, she wasn’t rich or even financially comfortable.
Why was my grandmother (and many of the other women I have matched) so successful? She never doubted herself. She didn’t focus on her weight, looks, or economic situation but always felt that she was a great catch. And all the men seemed to think she was too!
Replace your negative thoughts with positive true statements about yourself.
You have the list and can see you the negative things. Now think of what is true. Make a list of all the good qualities you have that will make you a good catch.
Are you caring – someone that your family and friends can always count on? Are you funny? Have a beautiful smile? I have talked to so many beautiful women who are oblivious to their obvious internal AND external beauty.
I met a woman to find out if she was a match for my client. In her profile, she said she was overweight. I was confused as she was clearly in fantastic shape. She explained that she had a lost a lot of weight but still saw herself as overweight. Seriously? After her first date with my match, my client told me she was beautiful and great figure. He was nervous because he thought he would have out of shape for her!
The moral of this story is if this woman didn’t have me pushing her – she would have never met her husband. Yes, they have been married for a few years now. But she didn’t see how she really looked. I did. Because I can’t meet with each one of you, I want you to embrace your unique beauty.
Five Steps for Instant Confidence
Take a vacation from fashion magazines, TV, or any other images that steals your confidence.
Most of the images we compare ourselves to aren’t even real. These women are airbrushed, photoshopped and often look little like their photos. You may have seen some of your favorite stars online without their makeup. Do they look like they do on the screen?
Even Science will tell you the media is bad for you. Research has shown that often women’s self-confidence is reduced after reading a fashion magazine. Are you paying for something that makes you feel worse?
“Act as if”. Pretend that you are a person that has the confidence or act like someone that you know who has confidence. You can be Sandra Bullock, Halle Berry or your best friend who always enters a room like she owns it.
Remember – chances are you aren’t aware of your qualities.So right now you’re not really showing who you are. The way you show up isn’t a correct reflection of who you really are. It’s your fears directing your life. So acting like a confident woman will feel strange. But fake it until you make it. And soon, you won’t be faking it. You will be comfortable and just be your true beautiful self.
Stand up Straight.
This is a fast way to look and feel instant confidence. Stand up straight, shoulders back, head up, look people in the eye and give genuine smiles. Smiling is a great way to feel good about yourself and releases Endorphins, which are the natural stuff that makes you feel good.
And of course, smiling, looking men in the eyes and open body language is easy flirting. You will feel better and the right man will feel more comfortable meeting you.
Five Steps For Instant Confidence
Conclusion: Try all Five steps to feel instant confidence in Dating: Make a list of all your negative thoughts, replace your negative thoughts with true statements. Take a break from the magazines, internet, and television. Fake it till you make it. Stand up straight, look people in the eye and let the world (and your Mr. Right) see you.
These simple techniques will give you instant dating confidence. Use these simple five steps for instant confidence for one week. You will be amazed at how you feel!