Casper Craven who is the genius behind many, many online dating sites recently interviewed me. Casper called me the Phoenix Millionaire Matchmaker!
He wanted my dating advice and how Phoenix matchmaking works for single men and women. While the blog was labeled for over 50, the dating advice is for single women and single men of all ages. Listen to this 20 minute dating advice recording and you will learn:
How my Scottsdale Matchmaking works
How your list of what you want in a partner can stop you from finding love
Men – what women are looking for; what singles should be doing to find the right one
Okay on first dates some things are obvious and some aren’t. As the Phoenix Matchmaker, I hear after dates what women turns a woman on AND off. I know what women really desire and how to make her want to see you again. Follow these op Ten First Date Tips for men. See how you compare with the top ten dating tips for a successful date:
1. First things first. When you call her for the date – have a plan. Have a couple of ideas on when and where to meet. From meeting for a drink after work, dinner or coffee, have a few exact locations to meet. This indicates to the woman that you take the date (and her) seriously and you’re a confident man. Because confident men take the lead and don’t make the women choose.
2. Pick a time and be on time. Disaster or horrible traffic and you’re running late? Give her a call as soon as you know so she knows she hasn’t been stood up.
3. Dress to make a Great Impression. Yes- it’s just as important as the lady dressing up for you. Your first date can be a casual Sunday brunch or hike but that doesn’t mean your clothes are dirty, wrinkled and have holes. If it’s not a casual date, strut your stuff. Wear the clothes that show you at your best. One of my former clients (now in a committed relationship) has the most beautiful blue eyes. When he wears a blue shirt it’s electrifying! Highlight your best features. Make her want to say “Wow!” when she first sees you.
4. Check the breath. A common mistake is to have that spicy lunch or be taking some supplement that can make the breath smell a bit …strong? You don’t want her to step away as you step in for a welcoming hug or good night kiss.
5. Remember your manners. This is the extra that can make a good first impression, a great one. Open every door from the car door to the front door for her; pull her chair out for her, and of course, she orders a drink or food before you.
6. Be the Confident Man. One of the most important things you can to attract a woman on that first date is to show confidence. It starts with body language – stand straight, head up, maintain eye contact and don’t be afraid to take up space. Speak in a well paced manner – not too fast, big silences where you search for words, or finishing your sentences with a continual questioning tone at the end. And what do you say?
7. Balance your compliments. Women like sincere compliments which are telling her something specific- what she’s wearing, her eyes or smile, her sense of humor, taste in her choices, or character – whatever compliment you make needs to be what you honestly feel. And the best compliments are balanced and not overdone or excessive.
8. Have fun conversation starters ready. These can be something from her internet profile, things you have talked on the phone, and interesting stories. Having a few prepared before you go on that first date can help with the first date jitters. One example of a favorite topic is travel. Most women love to travel! You both discuss your favorite places you’ve been or would like to go.
9. Follow the basics of a good conversation. This is a balance of talking and listening. It’s a friendly game where the conversation ball is thrown back and forth between partners. She asks questions and you answer and follow up with a good question. Extra Bonus tip for a great second date she’ll love. Listen to her interests and favorite activities. She loves hiking a favorite trail, wants to attend a weekend event, or likes specific food? Listen for these cues and you know what to do on a second date that you know she’ll enjoy.
10. Leave her wanting more. Keep your first date short from 1-2 hours depending on the activity – coffee, drink or dinner. The best first date is when you both can’t wait to learn see each other again. Prolong this excitement, by ending the date and then plan the next date!
Women tell me, The Phoenix Matchmaker, what they really feel after every first date. Follow these first dating tips for men to get the second date.
Click here for more Phoenix Matchmaker Dating Advice
Joann Cohen Phoenix Matchmaker for Phoenix singles, Scottsdale singles, and singles throughout the Phoenix area
Most of us are constantly reminding yourselves of faults we think we have. Usually – no one else notices or believes it is a big issue. But we waste a lot of time focusing on them. Instead of embracing bigger list of our fantastic points qualities. There are five steps for instant confidence to feel better and attract the man you really want to meet.
As a Phoenix Dating Coach and Matchmaker, I work with women to gain real and lasting confidence. Real Confidence that enables you to make healthy choices. Not settle for toxic relationships that just end with you feeling worse.
Your Five Ways for instant Confidence
Write down all the negative things you say to yourself. Every little, silly nasty thing about why you won’t be successful in dating. Too old, too big, too skinny, and so on. Bring out all those scary thoughts that run your life and stop you from doing and being who you really want to be.
Sounds counterproductive, doesn’t it? But these things that spin around in our heads are usually silly and wrong. Without any effort or action, these thoughts automatically surface to tell us something negative. We try to ignore them but they constantly whisper to us. The negative thoughts keep us from living the lives and stop us from taking the action to be with Mr Right.
Next, look at all your faults and decide if they are really true. For example, Are you really too old to find someone? Really? No woman, every your age finds a great life partner? Look around and you can find many stories of older women who find love partners.
For Example- my grandmother married five times. She was short, obese and not going to stop traffic with her looks. But without driving, no internet, no matchmaker, married FIVE times. She buried the first four and at 80 married her last husband (who was 15 years younger). And no, she wasn’t rich or even financially comfortable.
Why was my grandmother (and many of the other women I have matched) so successful? She never doubted herself. She didn’t focus on her weight, looks, or economic situation but always felt that she was a great catch. And all the men seemed to think she was too!
Replace your negative thoughts with positive true statements about yourself.
You have the list and can see you the negative things. Now think of what is true. Make a list of all the good qualities you have that will make you a good catch.
Are you caring – someone that your family and friends can always count on? Are you funny? Have a beautiful smile? I have talked to so many beautiful women who are oblivious to their obvious internal AND external beauty.
I met a woman to find out if she was a match for my client. In her profile, she said she was overweight. I was confused as she was clearly in fantastic shape. She explained that she had a lost a lot of weight but still saw herself as overweight. Seriously? After her first date with my match, my client told me she was beautiful and great figure. He was nervous because he thought he would have out of shape for her!
The moral of this story is if this woman didn’t have me pushing her – she would have never met her husband. Yes, they have been married for a few years now. But she didn’t see how she really looked. I did. Because I can’t meet with each one of you, I want you to embrace your unique beauty.
Five Steps for Instant Confidence
Take a vacation from fashion magazines, TV, or any other images that steals your confidence.
Most of the images we compare ourselves to aren’t even real. These women are airbrushed, photoshopped and often look little like their photos. You may have seen some of your favorite stars online without their makeup. Do they look like they do on the screen?
Even Science will tell you the media is bad for you. Research has shown that often women’s self-confidence is reduced after reading a fashion magazine. Are you paying for something that makes you feel worse?
“Act as if”. Pretend that you are a person that has the confidence or act like someone that you know who has confidence. You can be Sandra Bullock, Halle Berry or your best friend who always enters a room like she owns it.
Remember – chances are you aren’t aware of your qualities.So right now you’re not really showing who you are. The way you show up isn’t a correct reflection of who you really are. It’s your fears directing your life. So acting like a confident woman will feel strange. But fake it until you make it. And soon, you won’t be faking it. You will be comfortable and just be your true beautiful self.
Stand up Straight.
This is a fast way to look and feel instant confidence. Stand up straight, shoulders back, head up, look people in the eye and give genuine smiles. Smiling is a great way to feel good about yourself and releases Endorphins, which are the natural stuff that makes you feel good.
And of course, smiling, looking men in the eyes and open body language is easy flirting. You will feel better and the right man will feel more comfortable meeting you.
Five Steps For Instant Confidence
Conclusion: Try all Five steps to feel instant confidence in Dating: Make a list of all your negative thoughts, replace your negative thoughts with true statements. Take a break from the magazines, internet, and television. Fake it till you make it. Stand up straight, look people in the eye and let the world (and your Mr. Right) see you.
These simple techniques will give you instant dating confidence. Use these simple five steps for instant confidence for one week. You will be amazed at how you feel!