Tag Archives: Flirting

Top Mistakes in Meeting Women

Man holding a note that reads 'call me'

Are You Making the Top Mistakes in Meeting Women?

As a Dating Coach, I have taken men into the real world on field trips to meet women. I’ve seen common mistakes men make when trying to meet women. Review this list and see if you make any of these Top Mistakes in Meeting Women.

1. The most common mistake men make in meeting women is they hesitate to approach. It’s  a guaranteed result. You lose out on opportunities to meet attractive women because you delay. By the time you figure out what to say or gets the nerve to talk to her –  the woman is gone. Or you hang around a long time and keeps looking at a woman, trying to get your nerve to approach her. Women interprets this hesitation a lack of confidence, being timid or just a wuss. And women aren’t attracted to the timid guy.  To avoid this common mistake in meeting women, make sure you approach within 5 seconds whenever whenever you get a woman’s welcoming smile.

2. Pickup Lines. Men think they need a clever line, trick or technique when approaching women. Knowing what to say is a top stresser for men. Relax. Studies have shown that what we say is only 6% of making a great first impression. So many men focus on that small 6% and neglect the other 94% that they can do to create attraction. There are no good pickup lines. Keep it simple and genuine. That makes it easy to approach in the first 5 seconds!

3. Men focus on pleasing women. You  forget the point of meeting women, is to find someone you are interested in.  Instead you focus on having the woman like you.  You want to focus on finding out more about her– in order to see if you like her. You want to meet women to see when talking to determine if they share interests, find each other funny and interesting enough to want to see them again. Women can sense when you’re trying to just please them and that puts you in the wuss category again.

4. Not Staying in the Moment. Often When men meet women, they don’t focus or listen to what the woman is saying. Instead they are trying to think of the next question or line. A woman can easily pick up  that the man isn’t really listening. The conversation seems stilted and forced which isn’t fun. If you listen to the woman then you’ll know what to say next – the conversation flows.

If any of these sound like you, remember you want to present the best you – but it’s the real you. You want a woman who finds you attractive and funny and not a false front that you won’t be able to maintain. To meet “the woman” – try to meet women all over and have fun conversations. The top thing any man can wear isn’t a Rolex but confidence and humor.

And ladies, it’s okay to give the guys a break when they approach. They’ve usually got the toughest part in approaching us. Let’s make it as easy as possible. Remind yourself you can often find a real great guy under his nervous approach. Think it’s easy? Try switching it up for a day and  approaching attractive men. You’ll gain new empathy for men  allow yourself to be open to meet a great guy who is hiding under a bit nervous.

Joann Cohen,

Phoenix Dating Coach


easy flirting tipReady to Flirt?


Many Phoenix singles tell me they are too nervous to flirt. They feel anxious that they’ll flirt with someone who isn’t interested. An easy flirting tip that everyone loves – is to have a flirting prop that makes people approach you!

What’s a flirting prop?

A flirting prop is something that gives people a reason to talk to you. Imagine you are a woman walking down the street and someone is attracted to you, but what happens? Usually – nothing.

They probably walk by while mentally kicking himself for not having a witty line to capture your attention. And it’s probably happened to you too. You have seen someone attractive in the store but don’t know how to start a conversation. The  Easy Flirting tip is to use a flirting prop.

A Flirting prop is the magic key.


A flirting prop is something you wear, carry or walk that gives others a reason to talk to you. Flirting props are natural conversation starters. They can range from the real and unplanned – your leg in a cast – to a planned flirting prop meant to encourage conversation such as a heart pin that blinks off and on.

Your flirting prop doesn’t have to be as obvious as a shirt that is printed with “Talk to me, I’m Single” (though my friend gave me a shirt that has “Flirt” in Rhinestones and you know, I’m taking that out for a test drive!). On the other hand, it has to be easily seen, so your little ½ inch pin with your first name won’t work either.

easy flirting tip by Phoenix dating service

Perhaps you have a favorite sports shirt or cap. Wear it to allow your fellow team fans or opposing team fans to make a comment to you about the game or team. Or how about wearing a hat, unusual jewelry or tie, feather boa, silk flowers (ladies only please), wearing a glow stick necklace at club or a specific themed item at a holiday event – Santa hat, Valentine’s Day horns an so on. Food! At a party bring some great finger food that you pass around or offer to pass around something the host has made. Take your time walking with the item and give everyone your best smile.

At one of my flirting field trips, several ladies wore party tiaras that were real magic. When asked why they were wearing tiaras, answers ranged from “Just graduated from a flirting workshop”, “We’re members of a secret society” to “Guess!” As you can imagine, these responses started great banter back and forth for some easy flirting.

Arizona easy flirting tip

Easy Flirting Tip

Your dog is a flirting prop

My vote for the best flirting prop – a dog. Most of us don’t hesitate to immediately start talking to someone with a cute, interesting or ugly dog. Take your dog for a walk, to a store that allows dogs, sit outside at a coffee place or anywhere else dogs are allowed and you’ll find yourself quickly in great conversations.

Don’t have a dog?

Ask your neighbors, friends, and family if you can take Duke for a walk. They’ll think you’re great and Duke will probably love you too.

Enjoy experimenting with different types of flirting props that match your personality and events. They are a wonderful way to give people an excuse to talk you. And finally, remember to notice others’ flirting props, as they also give you a reason to start speaking to others.

Start the conversation! Great Flirting Openers

Click here to get the latest Phoenix Dating Coach free dating advice.

Joann Cohen,

The Phoenix Matchmaker for Phoenix Singles
Scottsdale Singles and Singles everywhere in the Phoenix Area

Great Flirting Openers

great flirting openersGreat Flirting Openers?

Of course they aren’t:

“Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

“If I told you, you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

Not only do these cheesy flirting openers lines not work – they often have the opposite effect – turning off the person we want to impress.

So what does work?

When we first say something to an attractive stranger,  we really saying “I want to talk to you, do you want to talk to me?” Now, just saying that  is not a great flirting opener.

A great flirting opener is easy. You talk about everyday things; the current situation; or something about the other person (no, not their legs – no matter how great you think they are!). How about talking about how long the grocery line is, the dog she is walking, what is the drink he has, the sport team sweatshirt she is wearing- you get it – the every day things.

I have used great flirting openers in a grocery line to talk about the frozen pizza a man was buying. In a bookstore I made a comment about a book title. And on the street approaching beautiful women (who I might think might be a good fit for my matchmaking database) making a comment about their shoes or dress.

Flirting Openers

A great flirting opener is easy. And we can make it over difficult by over thinking about what to say. And what you say is not what makes someone attracted to you!

Research shows that what we actually say is only 6% of making a good first impression. The rest is body language and how we speak (not what we say). So if we have the right body language, speak the right pace, tone, and volume, then what we actually say is the icing on the cake.

Women – What to Wear To Attract Men

So stick to being genuine and you will have great flirting openers.

Want to learn how to attract the single men or women you really want to meet? Click here to find out more to learn how to create your attraction plan.

Joann Cohen
Phoenix Matchmaker for Phoenix singles,
Scottsdale singles, and singles throughout the Phoenix area


Where to Meet Singles in Phoenix


Wondering Where to Meet Singles in Phoenix?

A few days ago while browsing a Barnes and Noble Book Store a man flirted with me. Afterwards I thought how this Barnes & Noble has been very, very good to me in meeting men! And this is in Mesa, AZ! (If you know Arizona – Mesa isn’t exactly known for having lots of singles). But during weekend days I have met several single men wandering the aisles.

I doubt Barnes and Noble attracts any more singles than other large book store chain. But bookstores do attract people like me or perhaps people looking to meet someone like me. So I recommend it for fellow book worms. I’ve met men all over the store with the most common being the Relationship/dating section. Which makes sense. In the dating book section there’s a good chance that the other person you see there is single too.

When you have a weekend afternoon free – try a large bookstore. While you walk the aisles, remember to check out the customers too. Starting in the dating section makes it easy to start a conversation! Ask for your target’s opinion on a good book, tell them yours about your favorites (just don’t make it the Pickup Artist if you want her to talk back.) or give your funny comment about relationship books. It’s easy and natural to start a conversation and you actually might learn something too!

Where to Meet Singles in Phoenix? Try your local bookstore for an easy start.

Start the conversation with Great Flirting Openers

Want more advice on where to meet singles in Phoenix or how to get your custom dating plan? Click here to get started.

Joann Cohen,

Phoenix Dating Coach

How to Flirt


phoenix dating advice how to flirtHow to Flirt

Let me guess, you read the title, and a bead of sweat is running down your forehead.

Yikes! Flirting!


It’s easy to learn how to flirt.

The hardest part of flirting is the FEAR of flirting. Just like the old saying says: the first step in overcoming a fear is: RECOGNIZING fear.

So, don’t freak. Check out your face in a mirror. See that bead of sweat? Breathe deep, exhale—you’ve passed the first step.

Onto step two.


That’s what I said. Now, I know what you’re saying. “Really Joann, but that is so, so simple!”

And it is. But let me ask you? Are you doing it?

Better check yourself out in that mirror again.

Do you see a cute girl in line behind you at the coffee shop, and while you’re waiting to order your usual grande mocha, non-fat, no-sugar, extra foam, extra shot, with a swirl of caramel on top latte, do you look her in the eye and smile? As you’re striding through the gym to yoga class, do you see a sexy guy on a treadmill at the gym, look him in the eye and smile?

No, right. Well, don’t beat yourself up. Learning how to flirt is a skill that gets easier the more you practice.

How to Flirt

Maybe you’re shy. I’m shy. But you can’t use that as an excuse not to flirt. Why? Studies show that shy people aren’t usually seen as shy but as stuck up, standoffish, or even cold. So you really need to learn how to flirt to meet your special one.

And that’s why I encourage (okay, push) my flirting workshop participants and clients to make it a practice every day. Learn how to flirt the with an easy goal.

Your goal: make eye contact and smile with 10 new people every day.

Secret Easy Flirting Tip

Remember: the real secret of being a great flirt is not trying to make people think you’re special, it’s about making others feel special. And when you become a good flirt, I promise you’ll feel good too.

Get in front of that mirror again. See the difference? You will.

Joann Cohen

Phoenix Matchmaker for Phoenix Singles, Scottsdale Singles,

and Singles throughout the Phoenix Area