As a dating coach and Phoenix matchmaker, I’ve talked to hundreds of women about their ideal man. The one trait that appears on lists over and over is confidence. Many men ask, “What about being the nice guy?” Yes, women like nice guys. But being the nice guy is often code for being shy, submissive, and a pushover, which is the last thing women want in a man. The simple fact is women really like confident men. Why Women Want Confident Men. We’ll get to why confidence is so important to women in a moment, but first it’s important to start with some definitions.
What confidence is not
Confidence is not arrogance, heroics, bravado, or an overdeveloped ego. Think of the Wannabe Pickup Artist who studies all types of techniques to “neg” women. They try to manipulate women by telling stories they have told a hundred times and using other games. All those things only serve to cover up insecurity. Women don’t want a man who’s putting on a flashy face of false bravery. They’re looking for the real deal.
What confidence is
True confidence is self-assurance. Genuinely confident men don’t feel a need to try too hard. They aren’t out to prove anything – to themselves or anyone else. They are secure in who they are, exuding an attitude of “I can handle this.”
Why is this attitude of confidence so important to women? Here are four top reasons Why Women Want Confident Men:
1. Confident Men are Successful.
The affects of confidence extend beyond the dating realm. When men are confident, success follows them in all areas of life. A confident man is a man who believes in himself. And that’s an attitude that doesn’t go unnoticed. It will attract women. It will also attract promotion and success in his career. From a purely biological perspective, women are looking for the “alpha male,”. Confidence is a key sign to women a man fits that description.
2. Confident men pursue women.
Because they aren’t consumed with their own insecurities, confident men are able to pursue women without inhibition. This confidence puts women at ease, creating a sense of safety and security in the relationship. Establishing that relational dynamic gives women the sense they can let down their guard, open up, and receive love.
3. Confident men are self-controlled.
This simply means that rather than waiting for others to make them happy, confident men take charge of their own lives and become responsible for their fulfillment. This keeps them from desperately trying to force others into taking on that responsibility. Having this attitude is true sexually. Why? Because it frees men up to simply be present with their partner instead of only seeking their own pleasure and fulfillment.
4. Confident men are strong.
Confidence is the ultimate display of masculinity. It communicates strength, capability, and reliability. All qualities that sense of safety, which is so important for women. And women feel confident men are emotionally balanced and stable. This allows her to feel there’s a solid foundation for a lifelong relationship.
One of the best ways men can become more confident is by focusing on becoming very good at their purpose and mission in life. For more tips on becoming a more confident man, read some of my other blogs about dating tips for men. Or, for more personalized assistance, consider my Dating Lifestyle Makeover program, or an Ultimate Straight Talk for Men session.