“I just don’t get it, Joann – Phoenix Dating Coach! Why can’t I meet men?”
“Am I just not beautiful enough?”
“Am I too old?”
“Do I need to go buy some dresses that barely cover my butt?”
“Am I just going to be a spinster/hermit/cat lady for the rest of my life?! AHHHHHH!!!”
The Biggest Mistake Women Make When Trying To Meet Men
I talk to frustrated women all the time, who are convinced there is no hope for them to meet men.
The reality is that they are beautiful enough, their age doesn’t matter, and they look gorgeous in their clothes. These women know they need to go out to meet men and they do it. But they can’t seem to understand why it isn’t happening for them.
Why can’t these women meet men?
Well, as we talk more, I usually start to realize one common mistake women make when trying to meet men. Fortunately it is an easy fix too.
The biggest mistake women make when trying to meet men is that they never create a Meeting Moment.
You have to take some action and help him create, what I’m calling a Meeting Moment.
Let me lay out a common scenario for you…
It is Friday night and you are heading out on the town with 3 of your best girl friends. You choose that new wine bar, because you have to check it out and of course, because there will be a bunch of attractive guys there. All your ladies are dressed up, you are looking beautiful, and you are sure the guys will notice… how could they not?
And they do notice, but…
Then you sit there all evening and you talk. You discuss the week, you talk about men, you drink, you eat, and you wait.
Then you wait some more… so you keep talking and talking.
The men never come (except the waiter).
So what went wrong? Are you really to old or do you need one of those tube dresses all the college girls are wearing?
No… you just need to create a Meeting Moment.
You spent the evening engrossed in conversation, but did you ever look up and scan the room? And if you did, did you give that guy who caught your eye from across the room a chance to meet you?
A common male frustration when dating: she was surrounded by her “pack” (friends) and he was too nervous to go say hello. He was waiting for his opportunity to talk to you alone all night and it never came.
Why not help him out and yourself out at the same time?
Here are 3 steps to creating a Meeting Moment, when you are out:
1. Talk with your girls.
Enjoy your time with your ladies, it is fun for you to be surrounded by your friends. You don’t need to go out alone, but you must give him a chance.
2. Scan the room.
Look around the room and see if there are attractive guys (simple stuff, I know). Is there an attractive guy looking your way? If so, don’t look away at first. Hold his glance for a second and…..smile. All you need is one second… this is basically an invitation to talk to you. And look back again with a welcome smile. He’ll get the message.
3. Take it step further and then walk away from your friends.
Go get a round of drinks at the bar or ask for a menu. Maybe you could walk to the bathroom… slowly. Then wait for him to come talk to you.
It might not work every time, but it does work.
If you want to learn how to have quality men approach you – everywhere – then sign up for my Dating Makeover Bootcamp.
Don’t cling to your friends the entire night, but use them as your base. You don’t need to approach him, just give him a chance to meet you without having to impress 3 of your lady friends too.
When you get married and live happily ever after, he will give himself credit for approaching you, but you will know the truth.