Top Online Dating Mistakes

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Are You Making These Top Online Dating Mistakes?


In my previous experience as a Virtual Dating Assistant working with single men and women, I’ve seen so many of these top online dating mistakes. I’ve cruised hundreds of profiles, read emails, and listened to my clients as they shared their impressions of online dating matches. There are some common online dating mistakes that can be easily corrected. Check your profile to see if you’re making any of these Top Online Dating Mistakes:

Bad photos. Men and women are equally guilty but for different reasons.

Men’s Internet Photo Mistakes – I have no Friends and I don’t care

Men do the “I’m just sitting in front of the computer, haven’t shaved, wearing my favorite baggy t-shirt.”  Or the infamous bathroom cell phone shot. Particularly painful if his bathroom is a mess. Yes, women are peeking beyond, seeing the mess and wondering if you’re someone they’ll be cleaning up after. Show you care. Get a friend, relative or acquaintance to take your photo. And if you don’t know how to get a great photo, read my dating advice blog for ideas.

Women’s Internet Photos–”Just look at My Face Please” Photos

Women show just their faces or a cleavage photo perhaps to distract men from wondering about the rest of the picture. It doesn’t work. If men don’t see a body shot they assume you’re big – really big. Period.

What to do if you’re a bigger woman? Often my women clients overestimate their size. One client always tried to cover up by wearing  large, oversized jackets. One day I insisted (you know – I’m very pushy) she take the jacket off. In her mind, she was overweight. But she actually had beautiful proportioned curves (only a size 8). We got her new clothes and new photos and her contacts increased dramatically!

Whatever your size is, show it because someone is looking for someone who looks just like you.

Top Online Dating Mistakes

Everyone’s Photo Mistakes

Old photos; group shots, photos of scenery, pets, family (especially bad when you’re not in the shot) and you as a child. Your viewer doesn’t know you. Right now, they don’t care to see your pet, children or how you looked as a teen. Once you meet and they find out what a great person you are, then they’ll be interested. But when you’re online dating – skip it and focus on what’s important: You and how you look NOW. Read my tips on how to get great online dating photos

No photos

  • Simply – ineffective. Every study and my personal experience show that there is little or no response when profiles don’t have photos. If you’re too shy to show your photo, skip online dating. If you don’t want your photo to be online, you may want to work with a Matchmaker. Click here  if you want to work with me as your Scottsdale Matchmaker
  • When you don’t post photos, the singles reviewing your profile think the worst. They assume you’re married, unattractive or hiding something. The line that “your career doesn’t allow you to post a photo” isn’t believed by most. As a Virtual Dating Assistant, I tell my clients if they won’t put up a photo, skip online dating. You’re wasting your time and money.

 Wish lists

  • LONG Wish lists. As a Virtual Dating Assistant, I’m constantly cruising internet sites for matches for my clients. Often I see “wish lists” that are long and detailed about someone’s potential partner.  Did I say picky? I’ve seen women have a 4 inch height range for meeting men, and men who have the exact hair color and length.  My clients have made the same mistakes on their profiles until we re-do them (and gets lots of good dates!).
  • Requirements vs. Preferences. Usually people are writing their preferences or wish lists-  NOT the real requirements. How do you know the difference? If you have something listed and if she was as beautiful as Angelina Jolie, rich as Bill Gates, charming as George Clooney – you wouldn’t change it. That’s a true requirement. But if you’d throw “it” out as quickly if you could get a date with a gorgeous, funny, financially secure person who has that “thing” then it’s a preference. Keep out the preferences.
  • Eliminate your preferences from your profile and keep it to what you really must have in a partner. What’s that? How about someone who is emotionally and spiritually healthy, you enjoy laughing with, makes you feel loved, respected and appreciated. Now isn’t that who you’re really looking for?

Top Online Dating Mistakes

If Online Dating was as easy as the Online Dating sites led us to believe – you put in every detail and you get a huge list of people with everything you’re looking for. But it’s time to stop believing the ads and get real. Finding the right one doesn’t work this way – even with online dating sites with personality tests. It still takes time to get to know someone. Time? Yes, time. While Online Dating allows you to meet people you wouldn’t meet otherwise, it will never completely take away the need to take the time necessary to truly know someone.

Every day I’m searching online for matches, reading emails and looking for the right ones for my clients.

Joann Cohen
Phoenix Matchmaker for Phoenix singles,
Scottsdale singles, and singles throughout the Phoenix area

Click here for more free dating advice from the Scottsdale Matchmaker.

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