Why Does He Only Text You? It’s Not What He’s Telling You

Why Does He Only Text You


As a Phoenix Dating Coach and Matchmaker, women are constantly asking dating questions about men and texting. A man’s texting can drive a woman crazy.  In this dating advice for women, I will be writing about a common situation – Why Does He Only Text You?. Find out which type of texting only guy he is.

The Hot and Heavy Disappearing Act

You meet a guy who seems great and he asks for your number. Then he starts eagerly texting you. There are in depth text conversations for days. He is funny, shares deep feelings, and is full of compliments. He texts about getting together and how much he wants to see you. You’re feeling good and can’t wait for that first date to get to know him better.

Suddenly – poof – he is gone. No follow up for a possible date. No more fun texts. You text and you may get a short answer back. His  answers are short and not like the text messages he was sending.  Is he into you? Did he meet someone else? Did you blow it? You check your previous texts and everything seems fine, nothing to cause the disappearing act.

You decide to take the imitative but be cool.  You don’t want to be “that needy woman”.
You “Hi, Haven’t heard from you in a while. Everything ok?”
Him “Hi. Sorry. I’ve been really busy at work and moving. How are things with you?”
You “I just got back from San Diego. Super nice. Hope the move is going well. Do you like the new place?”
And then you hear nothing from him – again.

Why Does HE Only Text You

The Maintainers

You meet and he seems interested so you give him your number. He texts you a short text, you respond and he may reply with 1 more text or disappear. You shrug your shoulders and then a week or so later – he texts a similar short text.

Him “Hey!”
You “Hi. What are you up to?”
Him “It’s all good.”
You “Anything going on new with you?”

And you hear nothing. A week or more later, you get a similar short text.

You scratch your head wondering why is this guy texting you? If he isn’t interested, why does he keep texting you? If he is interested, why is he just sending some short text every once in a while? You question your friends – Are you supposed to be responding in a certain way? Are you responding too fast? Are your text messages too short? Should you tease him more?

These texting situations sound familiar? Have you spent hours talking to friends, trying to figure out why the men are only texting?

What Type of Texter is He?

  • You’re his backup plan. He likes you but not enough to date you. Ouch! He is meeting and dating other women while he is texting you. He keeps you hooked by sporadic texts  – in case the other women do not work out.

This is the guy who has figured out that he can keep you, and other women, in a holding pattern while he pursues women he’s really interested in. If they don’t work out, you are a “maybe option” to date or possible hook up at another time.

  •  He is too scared to date. He thinks he wants to date but once it starts to really happen, he backs way quickly. This guy gets the “feeling” that he’s starting to date by texting. Texting is easy and real relationships are scary to him. This type usually has left a trail of frustrated women that he started off hot and then ran away when it was the time to take action. He leaves a trail of puzzled women behind.
  • He likes having his ego stroked. This guy likes to feel he has a lot of women into him – even if it’s only texting. He will text you like crazy and then when he feels you are really interested, he is off to his next conquest. This is often the PUA (Pickup Artists for you newly single 😉 wannabe.

He needs to continually have his confidence built up by external validation (women). The more women he can get interested; the better and more powerful he feels.  Getting women are a game. Texting is one of his tools that doesn’t take a lot of effort.

If you have a guy who is only texting and never calls, never asks to meet you, the answer why is simple.

He is not Interested in Dating You


It really is that simple.  When a man wants to be with you – he will do it. A man who wants you, will make a date to see you.You may think it should be more complicated but it isn’t. If he is only texting you and not making the effort to be with you – he is not interested.  Or if his text messages are late anAnd you my lovely, should never feel that is good enough.

Often – the only time he’ll want to get together – it’s a booty call. These are usually texts late at night asking what you’re doing. He will then suggest that he comes over and you “hang out”. He may contact you late at night and ask what you’re doing.

You don’t want to waste your time by continuing your texting pen pal “relationship” and trying to figure out why he is doing what he is doing.

It’s not because he’s been “too busy“. I work with male Matchmaking clients. And they always make time for the women they’re interested in. When they’re not sure – they procrastinate on staying in contact. 

This is the solution. You want a man that wants to be with you. The man who may be nervous about the first call, but picks up the phone and calls you. The man who will take you out and wants to learn more about you.  Don’t settle for less.

And remember – a confident woman doesn’t let herself be an “option”. She knows there are a lot of good guys who want to meet her.  

Final Note: Women often do the same things mentioned above.  Don’t be that woman. 

Your Next StepWhat to Text Men?

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